moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
