whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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