is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
