Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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