Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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