I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this just has baby written all over it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We had to coat check the pizza.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
