I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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