I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize