just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
