Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
