someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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