I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
