And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize