is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
