I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
