At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
