Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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