She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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