He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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