Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
