so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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