allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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