ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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