Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
