Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize