false alarm. still invincible.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
