When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
