the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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