She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Houston, we have a blender
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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