boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
