Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
