Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it was like eating out sand paper
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
my poor anus
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize