I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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