what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
