What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
