At least make sure they are 18
Why
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
