You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
