Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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