we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
