I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
