Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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