The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
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I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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