Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
