I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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