All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
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and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
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The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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