I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
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I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
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Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore