I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me