Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.