gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
