It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
