i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
