we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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