dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
