I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i drank out of a bidet.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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