And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize