I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
