I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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