That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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