the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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