Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
