I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
